Grief has been on my mind lately. I have been watching friends and family deal with loss. Grief is hard and can be lonely. Even if someone has had a similar loss, it is never the same. I think that is why it is hard for us to reach out when we see someone hurting. We know we don’t really understand how the other person is feeling.
But reaching out is important because it helps the person suffering. Because this has been on my mind I have come up with a few ideas for reaching out to someone suffering from a loss.
One of the most helpful things I have been told is to talk about the person that was lost. So often we are afraid of hurting the grieving person more that we don’t mention the person they lost. But they are going to hurt anyway, being able to hear other’s memories and experiences with their loved one helps them to keep their memory alive. It helps them know that other people still remember their loved one. It helps them feel less alone or like they need to hide part of themselves.
One of the stages of grief is anger. But it is hard to be angry at someone who is gone, we often feel guilty for being angry. Being a safe place that someone can express all they are feeling will make the grief easier to bear. That means that we are willing to listen as the grieving person talks. Don’t be afraid to just sit and listen. Or just sit and be with the grieving person.
Also, there will be many people that come to offer support shortly after a loss. But don’t forget about the grieving person, remember to check in on them weeks and months after a loss. They often feel forgotten or left behind when the world moves on and they are still grieving.
Finally, don’t set a time limit for when you think they should be done grieving. Grief changes and it isn’t always so intense but it can return as you go through different stages in your life. Let the grieving person express how they feel no matter how long it has been since a loss.
If you or someone you know needs support there are helplines you can reach out to: the Crisis Textline text ‘help’ to 741741 and the grief hotline (800) 448-3000. It is important to reach out to help when you need it. Life is precious love the people around you today.