“You have to learn to live with the not knowing,” from movie The Finest Hours.
I wasn’t too excited about watching this movie when it was in the theater but it was the only movie that the boys were semi interested in watching so we went. I was wrong about this movie though, it is incredible!
I was so amazed by the story and everything that the people went through. But one thing that really hit me is when one of the characters said to the other, “You have to learn to live with the not knowing.” When I first heard this quote I thought of life as a police wife. As a police wife you have to learn to be ok with late nights, no return phone calls and never knowing for sure what time your husband will be home.
It has taken me a long time, many tears and planning my husband’s funeral in my head more times than I like to admit, to be ok with not knowing. I never want to lose my husband but I have come to accept the not knowing of our future in relation to the police world.
As I continued to think about this quote I realized that it referred to much more than just being a police wife. In all aspects of life we have to learn to live with not knowing. We have to be ok with not knowing if our sick friend is going to be ok. We have to learn to live with not knowing how things are going to turn out for our kids. We have to learn to live with not being able to control every little thing that may happen.
And more than learn to live with not knowing we need to learn to thrive. The majority of my anxiety stemmed from not knowing what my future held and trying to make sure I ALWAYS made the correct choice. I thought that if I made the perfect choice I would be saved from fear, sorrow or sadness. I was definitely not learning to live with the unknown. I wasn’t happy and my family was stressed.
I have come to realize that life is the unknown. That is the point! How boring would it be if we knew how everything was going to turn out? What would we have to learn if we knew what choice would bring us all the fame and fortune we ever wanted? How could we grow and develop if life were laid out for us? How would we ever develop faith in God if we didn’t have to rely on Him?
Learn to accept the unknown. Learn to be excited about the future no matter what it may hold. I know it isn’t easy. It has taken me a really long time to figure out small ways to learn to be ok with the unknown. But I know it can be done. Keep reaching for the peace that is inside. The peace that God wants to give. Keep learning how to trust yourself and believe that you really are strong enough for your life.
Life is so much more enjoyable and peaceful when I’m not trying to control everything. Anxiety tried to teach me that I had to do everything right; that being perfect was the only way to have friends. But what anxiety really taught me was that it is ok to not be perfect that I won’t always be able to control life. And that made all the difference.