Tag: love yourself

What is Self Care?

Have you heard about self care? What do you think self care is? Do you practice self care? From a lot that I read many people believe that self care is all about going to the spa, taking baths and generally pampering yourself.

I believe that is part of self care but self care is so much more. Self care is setting yourself up to take the best care of yourself. It is meal prepping so that you have healthy food to eat throughout the week. It is cleaning your house weekly so that you can feel comfortable. It is exercising even when you don’t feel like it because you know it will help you feel better. Self care is doing the hard things that you may not want to do so that you can feel better.

How did self care get so twisted around? I think it is because when people think about taking care of themselves they think of the nice things that feel good to do. Meal prepping isn’t fun but having healthy food ready for the week sets you up for success. Eating good food consistently will also help you feel better more often.

Self care is also learning what experiences or people will trigger you to feel off. When you know what may set you off you are better able to make a plan to deal with those triggers. I recently had an experience that in the past would have put me in a tailspin. Because I have been working to strengthen and understand myself I didn’t react like I would have in the past. This is part of self care.

I will never pass up a spa day but I am not going to put off taking care of myself today. Self care is more about creating a life you love. What do you consider self care that someone may not have thought of?

Stutters and Anxiety

When my oldest was little he had a stutter. It wasn’t bad but we were able to get a speech pathologist through school. He worked with her for a few years practicing how to slow down his speech and think about what he wanted to say before he tried to say it. Most of the time you can’t tell now that he ever had a stutter.

One thing the speech pathologist said that I have never been able to forget is that they could cure his stutter but to do that they would have to make him deaf. The reason is that a stutter is an issue with what people hear not with how they talk. I still don’t understand why that is but I can’t get it out of my head.

How many times do we want things to change but for the change to happen something worse must happen first. For years I have wanted the anxiety to go away completely. I want to be like everyone else that can go about their days without any worry. I have to come realize though for that to happen I would probably need a lobotomy.

I think a lobotomy is way worse than dealing with the anxiety. I have worked hard to get where I am today. If I had been handed a “cure” I probably would have taken it but I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That is the other thing about going through hard things: we get to learn and develop. And if we choose to we can become better.

I have become kinder to others that are struggling. I am more patient with myself. My testimony and understanding of Christ’s Atonement has become stronger.

Whatever you may be struggling with right now I hope that you know that you can handle it. It is going to be hard and it is going to hurt. But you are tough and you will come out of it even stronger.

My story is filled with broken pieces, terrible choices, and ugly truths. It’s also filled with a major comeback, peace in my soul and a grace that saved my life. Word Porn

Sheepdog Hill

If you follow me on Instagram you saw a picture of me flexing my muscles and bragging about how well I am going to do at the upcoming Ragnar Relay. Ragnar Relay is about 200 miles over the back of the Wasatch mountains run by a team of 12 over about 24 hours. Each person runs three legs averaging between 9-18 miles total. It is fun and weird and stupid all at the same time.

Then this last Saturday my hubby, a friend and I ran what we call Sheepdog Hill. This is a “hill” in our area that is 4 miles from bottom to the top with one thousand foot elevation gain. I was stoked for this run. I was going to kill it! Then we started.

I did not kill this run. I was the last one to make it to the top. I had to walk A LOT! I was so disappointed in myself I started with all of the negative chatter. What is wrong with you? I thought you were doing to do better? I thought you were in better shape. Are you ever going to be able to run this hill?

I was feeling awful about the run and how I was going to do at Ragnar. Then I stopped and asked myself: What would make you satisfied with your runs at Ragnar? This completely changed my outlook.

I am never going to be a crazy good athlete. I don’t have the time or the desire to train all of the time. But I can be proud of the things I do accomplish. I don’t have to be the best, I don’t have to be the one everyone is bragging about. But I can be proud of myself.

As we came down the “hill” I thought about what I wanted to accomplish to feel proud of myself at the end of Ragnar. I want to feel like I worked hard and did my best. This means that I keep running until I can’t. It means that I walk when I need to. It means that I run as hard as I can when I see the finish line. It means I don’t compare my run to anyone else’s. That way when I am done and we are coming home I can say I gave my best.

I Am…

Have you ever noticed how often you say I am during the day? I am tired, I am lazy, I am lost. I never really noticed it until I saw a Facebook post last week by a friend highlighting this phrase. She mentioned that when we say I am we are claiming something for ourselves. We are telling our own minds what to think of us.

Are the I am statements you say something you want in your brain? Are your I am statements as negative as mine? I talk a lot about the way we think because the way we thing makes all the difference. The way we talk to and about ourselves determines so much about what we think we are capable of doing.

Pay attention to how these different statements make you feel.

I am exhausted.

I am always making mistakes.

I am a fighter.

I am a winner.

The first two statements make me feel worn down and defeated. The last two statements make me hold my head up and get ready to fight. So what if you are exhausted? Instead of saying I am use I feel instead; exhausted is a feeling, not who you are at your core. Don’t claim things that aren’t who you really are.

I challenge you to pay attention to what you say when using I am. Only use positive thoughts and attributes after I am. Because at your core you are a child of God and that is the best I am.

What is a good day?

Hey everybody!

I am sorry that I missed posting on Friday. I am starting over today with posting every Tuesday and Friday. Please keep checking in for new content. I appreciate each and everyone of you for visiting.

I love doing craft projects. I love to look through Pinterest and check out all of the fun projects people are working on. I am pretty good at crochet projects. A few years ago I decided to crochet a mermaid tail for my sister. I couldn’t find a pattern that I really liked and I was having a hard time reworking the pattern I did find. One night while I was looking for a pattern my son saw a pattern for a crocheted shark tail.

So, of course, I had to start that project for him. It is so cute and when it is all finished it looks like the shark is eating you when you are in the blanket. I started working on that one while I was still trying to decide what to do for my sister’s mermaid tail. I had purchased some yarn for the tail for my sister. But it just didn’t work for the tail so I started working on a blanket with that yarn.

Both the shark tail and the blanket are still sitting in my closet waiting to be finished. I do this a lot. I get super excited about a project, I go out and purchase all of the materials I need to complete the project, I start the project then I get bored and it is stored in my closet. I don’t even want to tell you all of the projects I have partly finished in my closet.  But trust me when I say there are more projects in my closet than shoes.

Why do I tell you all of this? Because sometimes I think we link what we accomplish to how good of a person we are. I know that I do. Oftentimes at night I go through everything I did that day. If I accomplished all I set out to do then it was a good day. If not then I need to work harder the next day.

But I don’t always or really ever take into consideration all of the things that I did that weren’t on my list for the day. Was I able to help a hurting heart? A short conversation that took up the time I was going to use to make that doctor’s appointment was an accomplishment.  Taking time to help someone else finish a project was an accomplishment. Even when that means I wasn’t able to finish my project that day.

There is a gentleman that comes into the library. He always has a wonderful story for me and spends a few minutes talking. (Sometimes more than a few minutes but he has the best stories!) Oftentimes when he leaves he says “I smiled again today. Thank you.” I don’t tell you this to brag but as an example that a few minutes to me means a lot to someone else.

How about we change the way we judge a good day? Instead of looking at what we were able to check off our lists we look at the connections we were able to make. Instead of thinking we need to accomplish more to be important. We remember that we are important now, just as we are. Instead of feeling bad because we aren’t as successful as the next person; we remember we are all working hard for what we have. Life is so much more than lists. You matter so much more than any accomplishment you could check off of a list.

P.S. Yes that picture is my closet with my piles of projects!

Keep being brave!

Yesterday I did something super brave.

Next month we are running the Wasatch Ragnar and I have not been training.  I haven’t really worked out all winter.  Ragnar is a relay race of about 182 miles over the Wasatch mountains.  You have teams of 12 people, 6 in 2 vans and you take turns running.  Each person runs 3 “legs” of varying distance and difficulty. Even before looking at the legs I knew that I would be having a hard time because I haven’t been training.

Then I looked at what we would be running and really started to stress!  Not only do we deal with the ups and downs of the mountains but we have to handle the elevation.  The starting elevation is 4525 ft.  Here in Idaho where I live the elevation is only 2730 ft.  Then I looked at the distances and difficulty of the legs.  It looked like everything was hard!

I told my awesome husband last night that I new physically I was the weak link on our team.  It was awesome because my kids were there and they totally disagreed!  Yay for kids that have your back no matter what.  Anyway I told him that I should probably take the first leg which consists of 2 easy legs and a moderate leg.  I said that it wasn’t fair to give that to someone else that had been training just to make me feel better.

The reason that this was so hard for me to say is because I always want people to think the best of me.  I want to be seen as perfect and never making a mistake.  Yes you have read about that before.  I am working really hard to be honest with myself and with others about what I can and can’t do.  So even though I really want to be seen as super strong and able to handle anything I had to be honest in what I can do this time.

Besides it has been freeing to be honest.  To not pretend that I am something that I am not right now. Being honest allows so many more good things into life. There is room to learn and grow when you let go and be yourself!

Of course, this just made me want to work harder to be in shape for the Hood to Coast relay race we are running in August!