Tag: anxiety blog

Medication is not a bad thing

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I take medication for anxiety and have for a few years now. I have taken medication on and off since my twenties. It helps me to better regulate my emotions and thoughts. It helps me not feel so overwhelmed with life.

I know that my brain doesn’t always work right. I know I need help with getting my emotions and feelings to the base line most people live with on a regular basis. The one thing I don’t understand is why some people believe that taking medication for a mental illness is a bad thing.

The stigma surrounding taking medication for a mental illness is devastating. I think this stigma causes too many people to not get the help they need. Leading to more problems and pain for them and their families.

I am grateful that as mental illness becomes better understood and talked about church leaders are helping their followers to understand that seeking help is a good thing. Jeffery R. Holland an Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has said:

“If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation”.

I remember when this talk was given at a General Conference (which is the world wide gathering of our Church) in 2013. I gave a huge sigh of relief because he told all of the people in the church that it is okay and important to get help out side of prayer for mental issues.

As Christians I think that many times we feel that we should be able to overcome any emotional problem with prayer. We have faith that God will take away our mental problems if we are just good enough. Although I do know that God can heal us I also know that God expects us to use everything at our disposal to get to that healing He wants for us. I also know that sometimes that healing will not come in this life and that is okay. I will continue to do all I can to become healed.

I also think we feel guilty for being depressed or anxious because of all the blessing we have in our lives. I shouldn’t feel bad because I have a wonderful family, a safe warm home and friends that love me. But mental illness doesn’t care what you do or don’t have it can come to anyone.

I know that taking medication has saved me and my family. I will continue to fight to breakdown the stigma surrounding taking medication. Because I believe to will save other people and other families.

So the next time you hear or know or are told that someone one know is taking medication celebrate them. Let them know you are proud of them. Know that they are taking care of themselves. Let’s support and love each other.

No regrets

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I hear it all the time: live your life so you don’t have any regrets. I would love to do that, I would love to say that I never did anything I regret, that I took every chance, that I was there for my children whenever they needed. But when I am honest I do have regrets.

I don’t remember much from when the kids were little. I have baby books for them that are completely empty. I don’t have locks of hair that I saved for them. I don’t remember when they got their first tooth. I don’t know when they lost their first tooth. I don’t know if watching me deal with anxiety and depression as they grew has messed them up.

The other night one of the boys thought I was getting mad at him about something. When I asked why he would think I would be mad about that, he said “When I was little you would get mad about all kinds of stuff. Sometimes I am not sure how you are going to react.” Although I am glad that he feels comfortable enough that he can tell me how he feels; I was cut to the heart because of what he experienced when he was smaller. I did have a hair trigger temper, I was strung so tight I exploded at very small things. Huge regret right there.

Really to live with no regrets I would have to be perfect. I would have to know the exact perfect choice to make. If I were perfect I would never hurt anyone. If I were perfect I would never make a mistake. But I’m not perfect so how can I live with no regrets? Two ways: repentance and acceptance.

I am going to make mistakes. I still hurt the people that I love. No matter how hard I try I will always do things that hurt others. That is where repentance comes in. Being able to be open and honest and asking for forgiveness makes all the difference. I will make mistakes, being able to repair those mistakes with forgiveness is a gift I have been given by Heavenly Father. “Repentance isn’t [God’s] backup plan in the event we might fail. Repentance is His plan, knowing that we will.” Lynn G. Robbins.

Heavenly Father knew we would make mistakes and that we would hurt each other. He made us a way through Jesus Christ that we can work to make those mistakes better. Knowing that I can change gives me hope to know that I don’t have to stay as the scary mom my kids are afraid of.

The other way I deal with those regrets is by accepting who I was and the problems I was dealing with.  I was just trying to survive and keep everyone fed during the worst of the anxiety. I can’t go back and do those years over again, no matter how much I wish for just that. I have to accept that is the way it was and try to do better from here.

I still don’t keep baby books or scrapbooks. But I do take more pictures, I keep school and church achievements (someday I may even organize them!), I work to be present when I am around my family. I tell them everyday how much they mean to me. I am honest about those years and I tell them I am sorry.

I accept that those years are in our past and I can’t change them. But I don’t live in the past. I am learning how I don’t want to act and changing the things I do in the present. When I make mistakes I try to be quick to ask for forgiveness.

I believe regrets are part of everyone’s life. How we deal with them makes all the difference. Be kind to yourself, know you are doing the best you can, love yourself and share that love with others. You are amazing! How do you deal with regrets?