Category: suicide

Teens Need Our Help

Our youth are being bombarded with more stress and trauma than at any other time in history. When I was a kid I was bullied but I was able to go home and be safe. Now with cyber-bullying they can’t get away from the bullies. When I was a kid, school and work place shootings were a rarity. Now schools have school shooting drills. When I was a kid pornography was something in magazines you had to be brave enough to buy. Now pornography can be found with a few simple clicks of the mouse.

Our children are facing all of this and more daily but I feel that we are not giving them the tools they need to succeed. Teen suicide rates are increasing but we are too afraid to talk about it. The mentality still is that if we mention suicide people will be more likely to die by suicide. This isn’t true. When I was a Crisis Text line counselor we were taught to ask every texter if they were thinking about suicide. We need to be more comfortable talking about suicide.

As I listed earlier our youth are dealing with things that we never had to handle. They need our help. We need to be more comfortable talking about mental health. Our kids don’t know how to get through hard times. We need to be more comfortable letting our kids be uncomfortable. They need to know that they are strong enough to handle hard times. They need to be given the skills to get through the hard things.

They need to know that it is OK to ask for help. Too often as kids we see adults as being perfect and not having any problems. Kids need to know that we struggle, get help and become stronger. We don’t need to burden them with every bit of our struggle but when they see us seeking help it is easier for them to ask for help.

Our youth need us to listen to them. They need to know that they are important and that they matter. If you are a teen or a parent of a teen needing help I will be putting together a class to help strengthen teens, Comment below or message me and I will keep you updated on the class.

Mind Reading Part 2

Last week I started a new series about thinking errors with mind reading. If you didn’t see that post you can read it here. We can cause ourselves no end of anxiety when we think we know what other people are thinking. Well mind reading can also cause problems when we think other people should know what we are thinking. (lots of thinking in that paragraph!)

I have had times where I am in the middle of a panic attack and I think it is written all over my face. My head feels like it is about to explode so of course everyone can tell. Surely they can see that I am just about to lose my mind. But guess what they can’t!

Just like I can’t tell what other people are thinking they can’t tell what is going on inside of me just by looking. They can’t tell that I am just about to explode so don’t give me one more thing. Do you know what that means?

That means we have to tell people when we are having a hard time. That means that we have to ask for help. That means that when we are just about to lose our minds we need to talk. I know that reaching out can be the scariest part when you are struggling. But there are people that will listen with love.

We can reach out to our friends and family. People that we know will listen and respond in a kind way. The loved ones that will support us and help as we figure out the next step. You can even reach out to strangers on the internet. I am here whenever you may need help.

But just like everyone else I can’t read minds. So please be brave and say you need help!

 

He loves me

Dying by suicide is one of the most painful ways to lose someone. I have written before about how a person gets to the point that they believe suicide is the best way they can help their loved ones. As hard as it is to believe the person thinking of dying by suicide truly believes they are helping their loved ones by leaving.

I have been thinking about things that have helped me to fight back against the monster of suicide. Today I am sharing two things that have made a difference for me. There are many other ways to help and take care of yourself. If these ideas don’t work for you keep looking for the ideas or support that will make a difference for you. It may take time but you are worth the time and effort to love yourself and take care of yourself.

There is the Crisis Text Line. This is a confidential text service that you can use no matter your crisis. The crisis counselors are trained to support the texters in whatever situation they may be in. This is a service you can use if you are in crisis or if you are a friend of someone in crisis. Text ‘help’ to 741741. If you are thinking of suicide text ‘suicide’ and you will be put at the front of the line to talk to a crisis counselor.

Another way I believe can help all people thinking of dying by suicide is to know who they are. Saturday on Instagram I say a post from one of the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Gary E. Stevens. He was speaking of visiting Brazil and meeting youth of the Church he wrote:

A very important message for youth everywhere is to know your eternal identity as a child of God. Be aware that Satan will try to deceive you about who you are. He is quite fixed on confusing us about that truth. The Lord is saddened when you compare yourself to your peers. The adversary would have you think that you don’t have enough friends or enough “likes” on Instagram. Always remember that the most important “like” is that the Lord loves you.

In fact, He loves you deeply. I invite you to stand in front of the mirror every morning and say to yourself, “I am amazing and awesome. I am a son/daughter of God. He loves me.”

How powerful and how quickly would saying those words to our reflection change the way we feel. I wrote these words on my mirror so that I can remind myself daily whose I really am.

The knowledge that we are children of God, who loves us can help to change the negative and scary thoughts about ourselves. It can change the belief that we aren’t good enough and that we need to die. There have been many times that I have pored out my heart to the Lord weeping and screaming that I just wanted the to pain to end. The answers and the peace didn’t come as quickly as I wanted but they came each day as I choose to stay and fight the pain.

If you are considering dying by suicide please talk to someone. Find a friend, parent, teacher, doctor, or counselor that can help and support you. This world needs you, there is a purpose to your life and you make a difference just by being here. Remember you are a child of God and He loves you.

Why Suicide?

Trigger Warning: This post is about suicide and why someone would consider suicide. Please take care of yourself and do not read if this will not be healthy for your mental health.  I am not a mental health professional. This is strictly my thoughts and feelings.

Suicide has been on heavy on my mind lately. As it slowly becomes more acceptable to discuss suicide in our society I often hear people saying I don’t understand how someone could do that. Don’t they know that things will get better? Why didn’t they just ask for help? What could have been so bad that they would want to leave this life?

I understand all of these questions because I have been on both sides of the discussion. I have never had a friend or family member die by suicide but I have considered it myself. I have also been in such a good place that it is hard to believe that anyone would ever consider suicide.

As I have considered the differences in my thoughts I have come up with a few different ideas to explain why sometimes suicide seems like the best answer. I believe that before this life we lived with God. When we came to earth we forgot what that was like however, part of our soul remembers and longs to be back there. I think that this feeling has often lead to my feelings of wanting this life to be over. I remember as a young teenager crying because I just wanted to go home.  

I was in my home at the time confused as to why I felt like I wanted to go home. As I grew in my faith I have come to believe that my soul misses home.  It misses that time spent with God. I believe that many people have the feeling of being away from home but don’t understand why. They feel out of place but can’t explain why.  Being apart from God I gives us this feeling. So when life gets hard or emotional we long to be back in the loving arms of our creator.

Another reason people consider suicide is because life sucks. And if you are overly sensitive like me life feels even harder. Difficult and scary things seem insurmountable. It can feel that there is no way life will ever get better. You will never be able to figure out how to deal with all that is happening and all of your negative feelings. But you can and you will if you just give yourself time.

The worst of the anxiety I dealt with lasted for years.  For at least a year I called my husband everyday just to get through the day. I have spent years on my knees asking God to take these feelings and worries away. I have spent time with counselors, I take medication. I have reached out to friends and family to build a support network. I know that it is hard and I know that it feels like nothing will ever change. But that is a lie that mental illness tells you. Life will change as you keep living as you do the things that help and nourish your soul you will be able to climb out of that pit. Give yourself time.

During this time I got into a very bad habit of not wearing my seat belt. I felt this was a way I could die by suicide without really doing anything. The other day I was driving home and I thought I need to put on my seat belt. The very next thought was I want to put on my seat belt. I want to live, I am excited to live.  Feelings do change and life does get better.

People consider suicide for many reasons. To help make changes and to save others we need to stop judging and start loving.  Although you may never understand why someone would consider suicide you can still love them. You can show the good things of life and be a support for them.

If you are having thoughts of suicide please reach out. You can text suicide to 741741 for the crisis text line, call 1-800-273-8255 for the national suicide hotline, a friend or to me. Private message or leave me a comment. (All comments on the blog must be approved by me before they show up public. You can comment here without anyone else seeing. I will answer!) Know that you are not alone and there is nothing to be ashamed about if you are having feelings of suicide.

Take the time to love each other today. Reach out to someone that you have been thinking about that may need to hear from you. You never know the goodness you will do.


Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash