Category: Self Care Thursday

What is Self Care?

Have you heard about self care? What do you think self care is? Do you practice self care? From a lot that I read many people believe that self care is all about going to the spa, taking baths and generally pampering yourself.

I believe that is part of self care but self care is so much more. Self care is setting yourself up to take the best care of yourself. It is meal prepping so that you have healthy food to eat throughout the week. It is cleaning your house weekly so that you can feel comfortable. It is exercising even when you don’t feel like it because you know it will help you feel better. Self care is doing the hard things that you may not want to do so that you can feel better.

How did self care get so twisted around? I think it is because when people think about taking care of themselves they think of the nice things that feel good to do. Meal prepping isn’t fun but having healthy food ready for the week sets you up for success. Eating good food consistently will also help you feel better more often.

Self care is also learning what experiences or people will trigger you to feel off. When you know what may set you off you are better able to make a plan to deal with those triggers. I recently had an experience that in the past would have put me in a tailspin. Because I have been working to strengthen and understand myself I didn’t react like I would have in the past. This is part of self care.

I will never pass up a spa day but I am not going to put off taking care of myself today. Self care is more about creating a life you love. What do you consider self care that someone may not have thought of?

Oxygen really is vital to life

I had an interesting experience last week. On Wednesday evening I was exhausted but it was worse than I had ever experienced. I was texting with my piano teacher because I needed to change my lesson that week. I was so tired the thought of figuring out a new time was more than I could even focus on.

The next day I had the worst sore throat I had ever experienced. I thought for sure I had strep throat. It hurt to swallow and it hurt up into my ears when I did swallow. I hate going to the doctor but my husband gets strep if he just looks at someone with it. So to save him I went to the doctor.

The good news was that I didn’t have strep but my mucus membranes, throat and lungs were inflamed from all of the allergens. And even better my oxygen level was 94, which I guess is lower than what they like. While I was at the doctor they gave me a nebulizer treatment, afterwords I felt like a different person. My oxygen level was up to 97. When the doctor came back in I asked him about the change. He explained that part of it was due to the medicine in the treatment being a stimulant. The other part was because my brain was finally getting the oxygen it needed.

This made me start thinking about other things in my life that I need. I realized that I was so tired Wednesday because I wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I didn’t realize that I was missing it until it was gone. What other things in life help me to live a better, healthier life but I don’t notice until they are gone.

I know that getting enough rest is very important to me. I have to have down time at home when I can just relax and not worry about anything. Exercise is another thing that my body needs to feel better. Because of everything going on with my lungs I haven’t been working out for a few days. Although I need the rest and my body needs the time to recuperate I can feel a difference in not working out.

I know that I need time to meditate, (even though I haven’t yet made it 5 minutes without my mind wandering off) study scriptures and pray. This time allows me to reconnect with my God and it reminds me of who I am and why I am here.

These are some of the things that help me to feel better. What do you need in your life to feel more energized? Do you create or make beautiful things? Does spending time with friends and family give you more energy? I would love to know what helps you. If you don’t know what gives you more energy or love for life I would encourage you to search for it.

Pay attention to the things in your life that you crave doing. Spend some time alone pondering what helps you to feel more connected to the world. You will find the things you need to give your life more energy.

I would love to hear what is important to you. Please share it with me in the comments.

Take care of yourself

I wrote this list after a church meeting.  I had been feeling very empty spiritually and a little bit lost.  This meeting was excatly what I needed to get me moving back towards my Heavenly Father.  When I got home I wrote this list to help remind me of what I learned and ways I can take care of myself.

I hope this list helps you also.

Talk kindly to and about yourself.  That means no putting yourself down to others for a “joke”.  No telling yourself you are stupid fat crazy etc.

Let yourself feel things without judgement.  No telling yourself you are useless because you are having an anxiety attack AGAIN!  Just feel it and let it go.

Let the Holy Ghost into your life.  He will tell you who you truly are.  You can know and feel that you are a very special child of Heavenly Father.  Let him talk to you.

Move your body.  Nothing feels better than moving and stretching.

Rest your body.  Ok napping feels better especially after moving and stretching.

Feed your body good things.  Mostly that means healthy foods that feed and help your body.  But sometimes that means feeding your body a treat.

Fill your mind and soul with good things.  Good books, beautiful artwork, sunsets that catch the clouds on fire.

Give of yourself.  Not to the point of exhaustion.  But reach out and help someone.  Listen to your children’s problems or stories even when you just really want to finish that blog post.

Find your people and nurture those relationships.  Sometimes it is hard to find the people you really click with.  But when you do – don’t let those relationships fall to the wayside.

Really?! That is self care!!!

Only 1 more Self-Care Thursday!  I have had a ball sharing ideas with you about ways that you can take care of yourself.  I hope that you have enjoyed it!

Today I am going to share an idea that may not really sound like a form of self care.  But stick with me all will be clear in the end. (Said with a magical hand wave.)

Service yep service is a great way to take care of yourself and help others at the same time.  Now I know what you are thinking – Really I have to think about helping others when I am barely keeping my head above water in my own life. They just need to take care of their own problems.

I know, I get it!  I got so consumed with anxiety during my life that I couldn’t look around.  I was just trying to survive.  I closed myself and my life off to a very small group of people.  But then I started feeling better and I realized that there is life outside of myself.  As I began to realize that I also realized that my problems seemed smaller when I would reach out to others. (I am also sharing this because I need the reminder to start reaching out again!)

Now I am not going to tell you that someone has it worse than you, so you should be grateful for what you have.  Because I REALLY HATE that saying.  It is true that life is hard for everyone but saying that other people have it harder discounts your struggles.  It is like saying your problems don’t matter.  And they DO!

Ok so why service?  Because it is awesome!  Just thinking about what you can do to help someone else makes you feel better. Have you ever noticed that?  Even when I was in the middle of the worst of the anxiety I could distract myself thinking about other people.  I was lucky enough to have been asked to help with the young woman group in my church during this time.  I say lucky because they were AWESOME and I miss them very much.  But also because during this time I would not have looked outside of myself for others to serve.  I was “forced” to do service.

Whenever I started to get stressed or overwhelmed in my own life I was able to ask myself. “What do the young women need?  What can I do to help them?”  I may not get an answer and I may not have done anything right that second but just the thought of what I could do moved my brain enough that I didn’t have an anxiety attack.

Now you are asking what can I do?  My life is busy enough how can I add one more thing into it?  The answer is you don’t have to!

You can do random acts of kindness.  Maybe just tape a dollar to a vending machine with a note saying the treat is on you.  Do you have some extra money? Pay for the car behind you in the drive thru. (Disclaimer: I have never done this and yes it does make me nervous because what-if they have a huge order!? Maybe ask for their total first.)  You can always go on Pinterest and search Random Acts of Kindness.  You can find great ideas and cute notes that go with them.  (But don’t let the extra work dissuade you from doing the service!  Just do it without the cute note.  That is how I roll!)

If you are ready for a little bit bigger project you can always go to Volunteermatch.org.  This is a great website that has a ton of volunteer opportunities.  They even have some that are online only.  So you don’t have to leave your house.  YAY!!!

If you know how to run a sewing machine you can help out at Days for Girls. This is a great nonprofit that makes reusable feminine hygiene kits for girls in developing countries.  Girls miss school during their periods because they don’t have any feminine hygiene products.  I love projects like these.  You can fit them into your schedule and you are lifting an entire community because you are educating their women.  “You educate a man you educate a man.  You educate a woman you educate a generation.” Brigham Young

These are just a couple of ideas that you can use to begin venturing out into the world of service.  I know that at times is seems overwhelming to even think about reaching out in service.  I promise you, though, that as you do you will be blessed!  Will you join me in doing one act of service this week?

Photo credit: SHTTEFAN on Unsplash

Thank you for being a friend!

Thank you is a common phrase.  We say it all the time.  Two very simple words. Simple words that have the power to change your life!

Right now I want you to take a few moments close your eyes and think about all of the things you are grateful for.  Really picture them in your mind don’t just make a list.  Think about why you are grateful for these things or people.  Why are they important to you?  What difference have they made in your life?

How did you feel when you did this?  More or less stress? Did thinking about these things bring a smile to your face?  Did your shoulders relax?  What feelings were brought to your heart?

Gratitude though a simple practice is a great form of self care.

Why?  By cultivating gratitude we are able to really see all of the blessings we have in our lives.  There are so many ways that we can incorporate gratitude into our lives.  Instead of throwing out a quick thank you to someone that helped us;  really focus on them and say thank you.  Is there someone that has really blessed your life?  Write them a letter of thanks.  How great would it be to get something in the mail other than bills?  Focus on the people in your life.  Find one specific thing each day you can thank them for.  (Not just “you’re awesome” find something specific!)

One way that I incorporate gratitude in my life is through my tender mercies journal.  Each night I write one thing that happened that day that I am grateful for or was a tender mercy or blessing from the Lord.  Each night I get to stop for a few minutes at the end of the day to think about the good that has happened.  I tend to focus too much on the negative.  Writing in my tender mercies journal is helping to retrain my brain to focus on the good instead.

And you don’t just have to take my word for how good gratitude is for you.  The Great Good Science center at Berkeley has an entire section focused on gratitude. (They have lots of other stuff too.  I highly recommend this site!)

Start today really focusing on the things you are grateful for.  Because just like a microscope the things you focus on become bigger!

Connection to God

Self care Thursday!!

Most of you know that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  My connection to the divine is through my belief in God and in Jesus Christ who saved me and  paid the price for my sins.  That is what I feel in my heart and what I believe.

Why does this matter?  Because one of the best ways to take care of yourself is to keep your connection with the divine strong.

I know that there are many different ways to believe and connect to the divine in all of us.  I have been blessed by knowing and experiencing this connection in many different ways in my life. Today I NEED to focus on a lesson I learned reading in the Bible. A lesson that demonstrated how I had been lifted and carried during the horrible anxiety time when I felt no one was listening.  And has shown me how to weather the daily storms of life.

I was reading in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus is giving the Sermon on the Mount.  At this point He is teaching the people how to pray.  He says in verse 11  “Give us this day our daily bread.”  I stopped and began to think about what that really meant to me.  He said give us the bread we need today.  Not give us everything we will need for this week.  Not, give me all of the knowledge that I will need in my life.  No He said give us what we need today.

When I was in the worst of the anxiety I wanted to be given the way out right now!  I wanted the pain and fear to be over NOW! But what the Lord was offering me was a way to become stronger.  He gave me what I needed right then at that moment, in that day, so that I could move forward.

I was given the strength to wipe my tears, get up off of the floor and take care of my family and myself.  I was given the knowledge of what to do that day to help myself feel ok enough to not hurt myself.  I was given friends and family and some people I never saw again to lift me up.  I was given a husband that listened to me everyday no matter what.  I was given exactly what I needed to be strengthened in that day.

What I wanted and what I needed were two very different things. I am very grateful that I was given what I needed and not what I wanted during that time.  I was given the daily bread I needed.

I look back and know that if I had been saved from what I went through daily I would not be who I am today.  I wanted to be saved from trouble and heartbreak.  When truly that trouble and heartbreak changed me into a stronger servant.  And I know that each day I must connect with the divine.  I need to be reminded of who I really am.  In the world today we are pulled in so many directions.  We are told so many things that aren’t true.  As we keep our connection with the divine strong we are able to remember who we really are.

When we remember who we really are we are better able to take care of ourselves.  We can combat all of the things that we are told that aren’t true.  We are able to lift others and share the light we have cultivated.  When I am connected to the divine I am given the words I need to heal my broken heart and hopefully share that healing with others. When we are connected we are able to live our true selves.  We are able to live the life we were sent here to live.

I share all of this with you because I need the reminder.  I need to remember how it feels when I connect with God.  I need to remember that when I am living in His truth I am living the life he wants me to live.  I want to remember each day the feeling of love and peace that comes God.  I want to remember that this peace is worth fighting for.  I want you to know that you are loved by me but more importantly you are loved by God.

Thoughts Build a Life

I have been thinking a lot about self care lately.  Part of the reason for that is because it seems like everywhere I turn someone is talking about self care. Is that true for everyone or do I just really need to hear the message?   Another reason I have been thinking about it is because I know that I HAVE to take care of myself.  When I take care of myself the anxiety and depression are so much easier to handle.  So this month I decided that I would share with you some of the ways that I take care of myself.  Look for Self Care Thursday every Thursday in August!

One of the easiest things you can do to take care of yourself is to pay attention to your thoughts.  We have so many thoughts that run through our heads and most of the time we don’t even realize what those thoughts are or how they may affect you.  I know there were times that I would be in the middle of a panic attack and not even know what caused it.

So here is the tip: pay attention to the thoughts in your head.  Especially what you tell yourself about yourself.  This may take some practice if you are not accustomed to paying attention to your thoughts.  But it is a skill that can be learned.

The easiest way to do this is to grab a cheap notebook and pick a time each day that you can take five-ten minutes and write down all of thoughts you have in your head at that time.  It may be difficult at first to hear what you were telling yourself but stick with it!  It will get easier and you will be amazed and what you learn!

Another trick I learned from Jamie Knapp at Illuminate Mentoring (She is awesome!! Seriously look her up she has online classes that are life changing!! Look up Illuminate Mentoring on FaceBook)  Is to get two notebooks one is black the other can be which ever color you like.  Whenever you feel sad, depressed or just not yourself get out your black notebook and write down all of the negative thoughts you can remember.  When you get out all of the negative you bring out the other notebook.  In this other notebook you change each of the negative thoughts to a positive one.

Here is an example because I kinda had a hard time switching the negative to a positive.  A very common negative thought for me is that I must do exactly what others want to make them happy.  I cannot make any mistakes.  Changing that to a positive: I am a worthwhile person and others like me for who I am and they love me and forgive my mistakes.

Can you feel the difference between the negative and the positive?  I know that paying attention to your thoughts will make such a difference in your life.  I know that as I have changed the way I talk to myself my life has been changing.

So go get your notebooks and start taking care of yourself!!! (This is a perfect time to go get new notebooks because you have to buy them for back to school anyway.  Get yourself something cute!  Oh and maybe a new pen or two.  I love school supplies can you tell?)