Category: confidence

Just Say It Hurts

Today my youngest got his braces off.  It was very exciting and he was happy to get them off.  Until it came to all of the work of actually getting them off.

I have never had braces so I didn’t know how it all worked.  They just pop the brackets off with a little tool.  They don’t loosen the glue or anything.  Then you have to lay there as they grind off all of the glue with a little baby sander.  (I don’t know what dental tools are called but I do know a few construction tools.)

Then they glued a wire on to his bottom front teeth for a permanent retainer.  Then they had to take impressions to make plastic retainers kind of like invisalign braces.  (I have had impressions done and those totally stink!!!)  Then all the pictures for before and after which are amazing!  Then a fluoride treatment that took 4 minutes with plastic trays in his mouth.

The entire process took about 2 hours.  Now if you know my monkey you know he doesn’t sit still very well or at all.  This is torture for him having to sit still,  keep his mouth open and tilted and have all of this stuff in his mouth.

The thing is though that he isn’t afraid of saying enough.  He isn’t afraid of telling them that something hurts.  Me?  I just lay there gripping my hands together until they finish.  Does it take longer when you ask to stop?  Yes, but you get a breather and a break for a minute.

I love that he was confident enough to say no let me breathe.  From now on I am going to be more confident about just asking for what I need.  Too often I am one of those people that just wants you to read my mind.  No more!

Day 7 – Ask for what you need and stand up for yourself!

Downhill is not safe!

Today isn’t so much about what I learned but more about what I practiced.

My brain is very good at going downhill when I think I have done something wrong.  And I am very good at putting myself down when that happens.

A little background.  Last year I bought a VW Beetle from my mom.  I love my little car but the lights stay on when you turn it off.  And the car doesn’t beep at you when you leave. (Those Germans don’t think for you!)  Because of that I have left the car lights on a few times and killed the battery.

Also,  you need to know how we park our cars.  (I promise there is a reason for telling you this.)  We have my hubby’s police car in the garage with our newer SUV.  The bug is parked behind the SUV.  This works out well because we usually only drive the SUV on the weekends when we need space for all of us to ride together.

Last night I left the lights on in the bug.  This morning when my hubby was going to work at the Temple Open House.  He was taking the SUV and needed to move the bug.  Since I left the lights on the battery was dead and he couldn’t move it.  He got the battery charger on it and all was well.  All was well after, he pushed the bug out of the way, got the SUV out of the garage and then pushed the bug back into the driveway.  All while dressed in his suit.

At this point I am starting downhill feeling really bad about myself because I am so dumb.  How hard is it really to remember to turn the lights off?  Why can’t I just use my clothes pin?  (I came up with a great idea to clip a clothes pin on my keys when I turn the lights on.  That way I remember to turn the lights off when I take my keys out of the ignition.)  I am sure that my hubby is so upset with me.  He is going to be late and it is all my fault.

Practicing confidence has made a difference though!  When I realized where my mind was going I yelled out stop (only in my brain it was still earlier and I really didn’t need to scare anyone.)  I thanked my hubby for taking care of my car, again.  Apologized for making him late.  Then I stopped thinking about it.

There wasn’t anything I could do at that point to change what had happened.  Letting my mind go downhill was just hurting me in this moment.  And maybe my hubby because going downhill also involves me pulling away from the people I care about.  I decided to start using the clothes pin again.  And then I forgave myself for making a mistake.

Because that is all it was a simple mistake. (That I luckily usually make at home so I’m not stuck somewhere!)

Day 4, remember we all make mistakes.  Don’t let your brain take you downhill when you make one.

 

Photo by Todd Diemer on Unsplash

You are so much cuter than me!

Me scrolling through Facebook:

Oh look her hair is so cute I wish I could do that with my hair.

Those school treats are so original.  I wish I could think of something like that.

Wow she is totally killing it with her business I will never be that good.

Why would anyone ever post something like that.  They should be so embarrassed.  At least I have never done that!

She is so skinny.  I will never be skinny like that.

I spend way too much time comparing myself to other people.  Doing these comparisons is killing my confidence.  I either don’t measure up or I feel guilty for looking down on someone else.  (As I should I really don’t like the judgy side of myself.)

I am working to tame this constant comparing.  Just the other day I was reminded that I am a child of God.  One thing I remembered today is that so is everyone else.  Heavenly Father has given all of us different talents and abilities. I didn’t get the artistic gene from my mom.  But I do have other talents.  None of which are better or worse than being able to paint.  It is just different.

Today on Facebook this has been my attitude:

Oh I love their Halloween costumes.  I love that she has such a great talent in designing and making costumes.

That is so amazing that she was asked to be a speaker at that event.  I bet she is going to KILL it.

I love the crafts that she makes.  Maybe she could help me design something for my home.

I have only been working on it for one day but I notice a huge difference in how I feel when I am happy for others.  Other people’s successes don’t take anything away from my life. But comparing myself to them takes all the joy out of mine.

Confidence day two is all about being me and not comparing myself to other people. It is not easy but it is definitely one I am going to continue working on!  Why?  Because I really like the way I feel when I am happy for my fellow travelers.

Confidence – Day 1

Yesterday we were able to attend the open house at the Meridian Idaho Temple for the LDS church.  It was very peaceful even with all of the people there.  I am very grateful for the time I was able to spend there with my family.

I was reminded of who I am.  I am a child of God.  My worries and concerns are actually very small when I remember this fact.  God is there, he loves me.  He wants me to be confident and he wants me to be happy.

I watched Demi Lovato’s documentary “Simply Complicated” at one point she talks about her addictions.  She said that she just had to submit to a higher power to help her overcome.

As I thought about this I realized that I don’t have to try to be anything I am not.  I am already perfectly formed by God.  Because I am loved the way I am I can be confident in that love.  I can be confident in who I am.  When I submit to God and listen to what he tells me I am filled with confidence.  I know in whom I have trusted (2 Nephi 4:19) I know that he will help me.

My first day of finding confidence is a reminder in who I am.  A reminder I needed and for which I am very grateful.

PS If you are interested in visiting the temple I would love to go with you!

Confidence – I am looking for you!

Last week I finally got the courage to read back through my journals from the time the anxiety was out of control.  I was nervous to read them because this time was so hard to go through I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read it again.  They were hard to read but the thing that really struck me was how often I said I just wanted to be good enough.

Not feeling good enough is not really a new feeling for me.  When I was little my mom asked my Aunt to be my secret friend.  She sent me a few cards (which I still have) with notes building me up and a necklace (which I lost).  My mom signed me up for Girl Scouts to give me something of mine own.   Why did my mom do this for me?  I didn’t ask her for either thing.  She did it because I was so shy I wouldn’t do anything unless my older sister was also going.  I followed her around for years!

Truth be told I am still shy and unsure of myself. I don’t really like doing things without my hubby.  He is the one I follow around now!  I am tired of being scared of everything and feeling unsure about who I really am.

I made a decision.  I am going to research, look for, pray about and generally do everything I can to find confidence.  My goal is to change the way I feel about myself and the way I react to the world.  To keep myself on track and accountable I am going to post here on my blog everyday for 30 days.  I will post the things I learn, how my journey is going and the scary things I am doing to gain more confidence.

I hope you will join me in my journey and that some of the things I learn will help you also!