Category: confidence

Last night I prayed about what it is I need to do to get to the next step with confidence.  The answer came – let yourself be as awesome as you are.  Don’t worry about what you think you should be.

First off let yourself be as awesome as you are.  I know I don’t really see myself as I am.  I see all of my faults, all of the things that I do wrong, the things I could do better.  However, I am a child of God.  I am so much more than I give myself credit for.  I am so much more than I can even imagine.

How do I let myself be awesome?  By controlling my thoughts.  I know I have talked about thoughts before but they are so important.  How many times do you look in the mirror and start ripping yourself apart?  I know that when I look in the mirror I start picking apart everything I see.  I have even noticed that often I just glance in the mirror.  I don’t really look at myself; I don’t want to see me.

I think Heavenly Father was trying to tell me that I really need to look at myself.   I need to stop putting restrictions on myself.  I tell myself so often that I can’t do something before I even try.  Pay attention to your thoughts and remind yourself you are more amazing than you believe.

Second, is to stop worrying about what you should be.  Shoulds are another thing I have written about. So often when I start something I think I should be better than I am.  I should be able to do everything perfectly.  Should, should, should.  All shoulds do is make me feel worse about myself.  Just let them go.

I am who I am now and I don’t have to worry about what I should be.  Because Heavenly Father is happy with me right now.  Let everything else go!

Day 28 – Believe in who you really are, let all the rest go!

We just got back from a week of vacation in Southern Utah with my mom.  It is so hard to come back from vacation.  To be in charge again.

I have been thinking about how I can bring vacation home with me.  Wouldn’t that be great? To be as relaxed as you are on vacation.  I have come up with one answer: meditation.

Meditation helps with so many things.  It can help anxiety and depression.  It gives you a little mini vacation whenever you may need it.  There are meditation apps that can teach how to meditate.  I use Headspace, it does cost but is well worth the price.

Although it won’t give you a week off to enjoy family it does help to reset your mind.  I enjoy doing meditation because my brain is usually going so fast I can’t keep track of one thought.  With meditation I am able to clear my mind of most thoughts. (Not always all of them because there are so many!) I get clear on what needs done and my priorities.

Although today isn’t exactly about confidence it is one thing that has helped me.

Day 27 – take a few minutes to relax before going back to the grind tomorrow.

The authors of the “The Confidence Code” have taught me so much.  Another good thing I have learned is that mantras about who you want to be don’t really work.  There was a study done where a group of people with low self-esteem were assigned to say to themselves “I’m a lovable person”. The people in this group felt worse about themselves after repeating this phrase.

The study’s authors felt that this happened because of “the gap between what participants were told to feel and what they really felt. Repeating empty statements served only to underscore how far they felt they were from an ideal state of mind.”

I know I have felt this way.  I have tried repeating mantras of how I want to be; when I did I just felt bad.  So what is the cure? What does work?

Taking action on your goal is what changes how you feel about yourself.  I have noticed the change in myself doing this confidence challenge.  Just thinking about confidence didn’t change anything.  However, when I started to DO something to improve my confidence I started to change.

So if you want a better job, take that first step to change your job.  If you want better mental health, do one thing to change how you feel. Whatever it may be take that first step and you will be amazed at how quickly life changes.

Day 26 – take the first step to achieve your goal!

I have struggled today with what to write. There has been very sad news with friends. I don’t know how to share about confidence when people I know are struggling with much bigger challenges.

Grief changes you.  It changes the way you feel about life and about yourself.  Grief can pull you down into an ugly pit.

Having a firm foundation helps to pull you back when grief threatens to overcome you. That foundation can be confidence, faith in yourself and God, or self worth.  Please strengthen that foundation each day to take care of yourself.

Confidence means knowing when you need to take care of yourself.  It means slowing down before life overcomes you.  It means being who you are and not hiding yourself.

Day 25 –  Build confidence by taking care of yourself.

Thanksgiving is the time of year that reminds us to slow down and be thankful for the blessings we have.  I am grateful to all of you for going on this journey with me.  I am grateful that I get to share my story and all of the things I am learning.

Being grateful helps us to be happy and optimistic.  Many studies have shown this is true.  This TED talk helps us to learn how to incorporate grattitude.

He tells us to stop, look and then go.  Stop for a minute.  Look around to find something to be grateful for.  Then go and do something about that grattitude.

What does this have to do with confidence? When you are optimistic you are more likely to feel confident about your life.  When you feel optimistic you are more willing to try new things.

Besides being optimisitic makes a huge difference in your life.

Day 24 – use more gratitude in your life.

PS.  Happy Thanksgiving to your family from ours!

I had a customer at the library tell me to stop apologizing it makes me look weak.

Do you apologize for everything like I do?

Almost bump into someone. I’m sorry.

Someone can’t find what they want. I’m sorry.

The computer doesn’t work correctly. I’m sorry.

Apologizing for what you do wrong is important. Apologizing for anything that happens is getting out of control.

I have been looking for other words besides I’m sorry when something happens.  It feels so different when you don’t take responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

Confidence helps you take responsibility without being the martyr.

Day 23 – stop using I’m sorry for everything.

This week I am sharing some of the ideas I have learned from “The Confidence Code” in how to strengthen your confidence.  This book is focused on women but I highly reccomend it to anyone that is wanting to improve their confidence.

Small steps is one way to improve confidence. They suggest that if you have a big goal to break it down into small steps.  As you accomplish the small steps it gives you confidence to continue on.

This has worked so well with my confidence challenge.  It has been a little thing to focus on confidence over the last 20 days.  However, it has made such a huge difference in my life.

I challenge you to choose one thing that you have been putting off.  Then take the first step in accomplishing that thing.  I promise that you will feel more confident in your goals.

Day 21 – take small steps in accomplishing your goals.  You feel so good and will want to keep moving forward!