I love no adore no worship chocolate! It is my go to for any problem or stress.
When I am feeling stressed, a little bit of chocolate will calm me down. Maybe I am bored and a little bit of chocolate will make life more interesting. If I am feeling bad about myself, a little bit of chocolate is always there to help me feel better. Do you notice a pattern here? Chocolate is always there to make me feel better. But I have started to wonder if that is really true. Does chocolate really make me feel better?
My goal has been to feel my feelings and emotions instead of eating them. Yesterday morning I had to run to the store to get a hair dryer. Of course there is candy in the checkout line. I was feeling really nervous. I want to do so good with this blog but I am not sure what to do or where to go. I have big scary goals and I am not sure how to achieve them. It is Monday morning and I have to figure out all of this right now! I was standing there in line thinking I could just get a little something it will make me feel better. (Yes I know I am addicted to food. I sound like a drug addict!)
Finally I put the candy back. Eating the candy won’t change my goals or help me achieve them any faster. It won’t really help me calm down because after I eat it I will just feel guilty. But putting that candy back reminded me that I have the power in my life. I have control of my feelings and thoughts. I get to decided!
When I was in the middle of the anxiety I didn’t feel like I had any control of my life. Anxiety attacks would come out of the blue. (Or so I thought!) Life was hard and crazy. I had so many different emotions I was trying to figure out. I carried chocolate with me to be able to handle all of those emotions.
What does it matter that I put the chocolate back? Because I am choosing to take control of my life. I am choosing to do what is right for me. I have used food for so long to help me “handle” life. The only way that I can grow and become who I am meant to be is to feel my feelings. I have to let myself feel nervous. I have to let myself feel stressed. I have to tell other people that what they are doing hurts me.
I no longer have the horrible anxiety attacks. I have figured out how to handle them. Life is still hard and crazy but I am not the same person. I don’t want to keep doing the same things. I choose to make changes.