Anxiety doesn’t go away. I know that sounds frustrating and depressing but it isn’t I promise. Stay with me as I explain this.
Anxiety is the body taking normal emotions too far. It has been my response when anything is fun, scary, uncomfortable, exciting or sad. It has been the way that I try and deal with any change good or bad coming up in my life. Anxiety is simply a reaction to life.
If anxiety were to go away we would have a very boring life. Now that doesn’t mean that we have to deal with panic attacks for the rest of our lives. Remember what I said anxiety is simply the body taking emotions too far. So when you start to feel anxious follow the thoughts and emotions back to where they started.
Let me explain. My husband had a BBQ Saturday night with his work friends. As I was getting ready I started to feel anxious. As I listened to what I was telling myself it was “Be careful what you say you don’t want to say something dumb. Make sure you don’t embarrass your husband. He deserves to have a fun night.”
When I followed those thoughts back I realized that I was nervous about meeting his work friends. I knew some of them but not all of them. I wanted to make a good impression. Being nervous and wanting to make a good impression are normal emotions. But if I don’t pay attention to what I’m thinking they get out of control.
So anxiety may not go away but instead of giving in to to the fear I use it as a reminder to pay attention to what I am telling myself. When I start to feel out of control or like a panic attack is coming I know I need to follow my thoughts backwards to understand what I am telling myself.
Thinking of anxiety in this way also takes away the power of anxiety. I know that when I start to fear anxiety the panic attack builds faster. When I use anxiety as a guide to how I am feeling I take the power back from anxiety. The panic attack doesn’t build and I am able to overcome the fear faster.
Saturday as I was getting ready and the fear thoughts were coming at me I simply changed the narrative. I told myself that I was nervous; everyone gets nervous meeting new people. I do need to pay attention to what I say because I can get snarky. But I don’t need to monitor every word. My husband does deserve a good night but so do I. The more I worry the worse the night will be for everyone.
As I combated the negative thoughts my fear went down. I reminded myself that my feelings are normal. Anxiety is part of my life but it isn’t the controlling part. And the BBQ was excellent!
