Mind Reading

The way we think directly effects the way we feel and the things we work towards in our lives. I have learned so much going through anxiety but also becoming certified as a life coach. One of the things I have learned is the different thinking traps that we can fall into.

Because these thoughts are common, so common we sometimes don’t even know we are trapped I decided to do a series on them. I want to help you see the traps so that you can avoid them.

The first one to discuss is mind reading. Mind reading is where you assume what someone else is thinking. I do this All. The. Time. Especially with my husband. I assume that he is mad at me because he is quiet. I assume that he is upset with something I did because he spent lots of time upstairs after work.

I got caught in this trap Tuesday. I was feeling a little off and I felt like my hubby was upset with me. I had no idea why he might be angry but I was going down that road. As I started to work out why I was feeling this way he sent me a text thanking me for being a good wife.

I laughed out loud when I got the text because of where my mind had been going. I assumed I knew what he felt. And I was going through my mind trying to find evidence to prove that he was mad at me.

How can we avoid this trap? We have to ask or we have to be patient enough to wait for the other person to say something. Mind reading is probably the biggest trap I fall into. I remember my counselor asking me how I knew someone was mad at me. When I had to admit that I didn’t know he would remind me that the only way I can know someone’s feelings or thoughts is to ask them.

I know that it can be annoying to ask all the time are you mad at me. But that is the only way you can know the truth. When you start to realize that everyone doesn’t hate you it is easier to start fighting against that trap without having to ask all of the time.

I mentioned that before I got the text from my husband I was starting to work through why I thought he may be upset with me. I write out my feelings when I am lost so I had started a diagram as to why he could be upset. This helps me to see what I am thinking and also to see if there is any truth to what I am thinking.

Not one of us can read the minds of others. And for that I am grateful! Don’t be afraid to ask what someone else may be thinking. It is worth it to not be stuck in a panic attack.