Summer Panic Attacks

Panic attacks in the summer surprise me. The majority of the time I don’t have many panic attacks anymore but having them during the summer throws me for a loop. I think it is because I feel that it is summer time so I should be relaxed and ready for anything.

The truth is though that I really like having a routine. I like to have some time in the mornings after the kids have gone to school to put myself together. I like to know where everyone is and what their plan is for the day. This is much simpler to do when all of the kids are in school.

Then I add in that more people will be in the library – which is good – but not the norm for me. I will be taking more time off because it is summer time and vacations – yay! But that throws off my routine. I know, I sound like I want to have the same day over and over again.

Although that does sound enticing I don’t really want it to be the same all the time. I like that I get to interact with more people at work. I like that my boys are home more and I get to hang out with them. I like that we get to see family more and get to know them better.

I just have to remind myself that change makes me uncomfortable. And when I am uncomfortable my body reacts with a panic attack. The most frustrating thing about these panic attacks is that I can’t trace them to a thought. Being able to find the thought that caused the panic is one of the fastest ways for me to end a panic attack. But when life is changing and I just feel uncomfortable I can’t find the one thought that started the panic.

So what do I do? I ride it out. I remind myself that it is common for me to fill uneasy during change. I know that I will settle into a new routine and everything will be fine. I just have to ride out the uncomfortable parts. I remind myself that the more I fight against the panic the worse it gets.

Give me two weeks and all of this change will be behind me and I will wonder what the big deal was. But for now I am going to fill anxious. Excuse me while I go finish this panic attack.