When the anxiety was out of control I worried about every little choice I made. I second guessed every interaction I had with people. I was so worried about doing or saying something that would offend someone. The worry could consume my mind for days. Often the only way that I could get rid of the worry was to apologize for whatever I thought I did wrong.
It got really exhausting to be apologizing to everyone all of the time. I learned from a class to take a longer view on my worries. I was taught to ask will this matter in a year? If not I was to let the worry go. Honestly, now that I look back there are only about 3 things that I did during this time that I can even remember now. And only one that I actually needed to apologize for.
The thought “will this matter in a year is powerful?”. It helps to put these huge worries that I had in perspective. It is so easy to allow the anxiety to run rampant and pick up steam and make everything that you are thinking seem so real and to feel like it is going to destroy your entire life. Stopping to think for a minute “Will this matter in a year?” gives you a chance to slow down those thoughts.
You are able to put them in the proper perspective. Yes in this moment it feels as if everything is going to fall apart. But giving yourself the time to slow down and honestly think about the situation will give you the space you need to decide what is true. Is it true that this choice is going to get you fired? Is it true that what you said is going to make the other person not like you? Do you really care if they don’t like you? Is it true that what you just said to your child is going to ruin them for life?
Being able to put it in the perspective of time helps you to see if what happened needs to be addressed or to be let go. I know that just letting go of thoughts is difficult. If you need more help letting go you can read another post I wrote about that here. I know that dealing with an anxiety attack is one of the scariest experiences. Being able to put those thoughts in a different perspective will make a difference.
Where do you want to be in a year? What do you want to be doing? What do you need to be doing now to get there? Focusing on those thoughts can help you to move out of the negative thoughts of the anxiety. You are worth doing the work to move out of the anxiety. You are worth the time and work it takes to conquer this demon. Please tell me, what is one goal that you have for the coming year?
