What if someone laughs at me?
What if no one talks to me?
What if my hubby doesn’t come home?
What if I lose my job?
I read somewhere that we should explore all of the What If questions in our life. In the article they were talking about the fun things. Their what if questions were more: what if I get the job? What if I take that class? What if I write that book? What if I start that business?
Unfortunately for too long my what if questions were the first ones you read. I was so worried about the bad things that might happen I didn’t have space in my brain left to think about the good questions. But I am learning that our brains are problem solving machines. So the questions we put to our brains they will focus on and figure out.
By putting so many negative questions to my brain it kept focusing on those questions and figuring them out. I was caught in a negative downward thought spiral. But I had all of my bases covered. I knew what I would do if my hubby didn’t come home. I have planned his funereal more than once. I knew what I would do if I lost my job. I figured out how to handle someone not liking me.
But I also lived in constant negative thinking. And trust me that is exhausting. When you are constantly scanning your life and your brain for the negative you will find it. So how did I change? By fighting against the negative spiral I was in. And trust me it is a fight I still have to contend with to this day.
When I have negative thoughts I scan them for truthfulness. Did I say something mean to my children? If so then I apologize. If what I said needed to be said but the delivery was wrong. Then I apologize. If what I said was correct and said in the way it needed to be said then I let it go. I tie a balloon to the thought and I let if float away.
Once that thought is gone I replace it with a positive thought or experience. Something I am looking forward to doing, something nice that was said to me, anything that is positive. My mind is never empty and if I don’t fill it with positive things the negatives will take over.
Now I focus on positive What ifs instead of the negative ones. I want my brain to figure out how to make the positive What Ifs true. Because of that my life is changing into what I want it be instead of what I am afraid it will be. What is one way that you will change your life into what you want it to be?
