A few weeks ago I started working on a strange little project. If you have read more than probably two of my posts you know that I worry ALL THE TIME about what people think of me. Honestly, it is not healthy (obviously, that is why I take medication, because it isn’t healthy). Anyway, I decided that I wanted to start trying things that I normally wouldn’t because of what other people would think.
I have an entire judging panel in my head that tells me what is ok and what isn’t. I am tired of listening to that panel. I remember having a conversation with my sister once about what I was wearing. I don’t remember how old I was but we were both out of the house so at least in my twenties. (Ok mid to late twenties because I wouldn’t move out. It is true my parents moved away and left me the house.)
Back to the story, I asked her if my outfit looked ok. She said it was fine. Then I asked her about something specific. She said why, are you going to change if I tell you it is weird. In my head I said yes just tell me. This partial conversation has been in my head for a few weeks and is what lead me to this project.
I have been wearing clothes that I love that make me happy no matter what other people may think. The other day I wore a light pink tshirt (it is so soft and comfy it is like a pajama shirt) with my favorite striped sweater. The sweater is hot pink and maroon. I don’t know if the colors matched, I am not sure if fashion rules say you can wear different shades of pink together or not.
I then finished off the outfit with hot pink and white polka dot socks. This pink did not go with any of the other pinks I was wearing. And I was wearing stripes and polka dots together. I am pretty sure that is against the fashion rules, but I did it anyway.
You want to know what happened? Nothing! No one laughed, I wasn’t hunted down by the staff of What Not To Wear, I am not even sure anyone noticed my socks. People pay a lot less attention to me than I ever imagined! Doing this project has shown me what my mom has been trying to teach me for 40 years. People aren’t really paying attention to you, they are more worried about themselves.
This project is one way to do exposure therapy which helps to overcome anxiety. Exposure therapy is when you do the thing you are afraid of to become immune to the fear. (And should only be done with a licensed professional if the anxiety is extreme!) I have been working on my clothing project for a few weeks now. It has been fun to wear what I want and not be so worried about what other people think. I even bought skinny jeans and ankle boots!
I want to keep working on this fear I have of what other people think of me. What ideas do you guys have for me that I could try? What simple things can I do to show that people don’t really care what I do? Hit me up with some ideas please!
