I have a personality trait that is good but taken too far causes problems for myself and sometimes other people. What is that trait you ask? It is wanting everyone to like me. On the positive side this trait can help me to make other people feel comfortable. On the negative side there is a part of me always worrying about what people think of me. I spend waaayyy too much time worrying about other people.
Another way this trait shows up negatively in my life is that after being around a lot of people I am exhausted. Because part of my brain is always on scan checking for what is upsetting people or what I can do to make others like me at the end of the evening I just want to be alone. Just coming out of the holidays and having some events over this last weekend. I decided I had to come up with some ideas to take care of myself. Read on to find out some ideas I came up with to make sure I don’t leave so exhausted.
The first idea I came up with is to accept that I am a people pleaser. Being around a lot of people is exhausting to me. That is just the way I am, being upset with that doesn’t change the way I am and it just makes me feel worse about myself. When I accept myself I can then focus on taking care of myself. I can catch thoughts before they spin out of control. I can also remind myself that other people’s happiness is not my responsibility.
Another idea I came up with is to take breaks. I can do this by building some down time into a busy schedule or I can excuse myself from an event when I start to feel overwhelmed. It is ok to leave the room, the restaurant or house for a few minutes to get my equilibrium back. One of the best places I have found to go to when I am feeling overwhelmed is the bathroom. No one questions me when I say I have to go to the bathroom, then I can take a few minutes to gather myself. When I go back to the crowd I feel more relaxed and ready to interact again.
When everything is over and you are on your own again a good cry does wonders. Psychology Today reported that emotional crying release stress hormones and toxins that can help us to feel better. In that case I am all in for a few tears to help get the stress out of my body faster.
Finally, I know that I need to take care of myself as much as I can. I know that exercise helps me to feel better overall. When I keep my workout program on tract I feel better and have more energy. When I eat well I feel better. I am not a perfect healthy eater but when my blood sugar is balanced I have less of a chance of becoming hangry. (Which is good for everyone just ask my boys.)
I worry too much about what others think. I am working to embrace and accept that fact. While I do these steps will help me to deal with the effects of my thoughts. I would love to hear your ideas for dealing with negative thoughts! What do you do when worry overtakes you? Please comment below. I can always use more ideas to deal with life.
