As I have been learning about confidence I keep coming back to thoughts. Especially the things I tell myself I should do.
I should only wash my hair every other day.
I should always wear jewelry.
I should wear makeup more.
I shouldn’t be so loud.
I should be more outgoing.
I should be skinnier.
Just writing these sentences makes me sad and anxious.
Shoulds hurt the heart and drain the energy to do the things you really want. Shoulds usually come from other people, not from our own desires.
As I have paid more attention to my thoughts I have begun to stop the shoulds. My hair may be healthier if I didn’t wash it everyday but it is seriously nasty after a workout. I really don’t think the dry shampoo is going to take care of it. So I happily wash my hair everyday.
I do want to be more outgoing. But telling myself I SHOULD be more outgoing puts too much pressure on myself. Instead, I choose to be more outgoing and social.
Pay attention to your thoughts. If you are using should over and over again re-frame those thoughts. If it is something you really do want to do then change it to I choose to do…. If it is something that you really don’t want to do then throw it away. I choose not to do….
Day 18 – get rid of shoulds. Either choose to do something or don’t. But quit battering yourself with shoulds!
I added a video here!
