The first tip in gaining confidence from “The Confidence Code” is to fail fast.
This is kinda funny because I really hate the idea of failing. I have to be perfect and do everything perfectly so that everyone is happy with me. Evidently perfectionism is another trait that most women share. That is why failing fast is so important.
So what does failing fast mean? It comes from the tech world. A company develops different products and sends them all out to the market. They see which ones catch on and further develop that one. The others get scraped. Tech is changing and developing so quickly they don’t have time to perfect every product before it goes to market. By failing fast they can see where to put their time and resources.
Failing fast is important for women because we are such perfectionist. By trying something and failing we see that the world doesn’t fall apart. No one curses your name in the middle of your presentation because you forgot a few words. No one hates you forever because you didn’t know the right words to comfort your friend.
“Our quick failures will let us be choosy about how we spend our time. No longer will we need to try to get everything right. A lot will land in the garbage heap. We would do well to remember that it’s not the strongest species that survives in the long run-it’s the one that is the most adaptable.” The Confidence Code
I know I am not the most adaptable. If there is something out of the ordinary going on in my family life I ask my hubby at least 5 times (a day) what is happening. I really hate to get last minute invitations to things because I already have it set in my head how I want the day to go. I try and come up with conversation ideas before I ever go to a party. (Because I usually blank out on what to talk about. I actually forgot my own name when I did a pageant! My own name that I have had for 40 years!!!)
One idea Claire Shipman, one of the authors of the book, had was to try giving a speech without notes. Because this was a new experience she decided to type the first part of her speech and not the rest. She found that this was not a good way for her to present. She rambled at some parts and didn’t make all of the points she wanted to discuss. Next time she said she would right down points she wanted to hit in her speech. This would help her stay on topic but still give her the chance to connect with the audience in a way that you can’t when you’re reading a speech.
This was an easy fast way to fail. She tried something new, found out it didn’t work and moved on to another idea that may work. Was it hard? Yes I think it was but I think it also helped her relax about other choices in her life.
Perfectionism is never going to get me where I want to be. Being afraid to fail is never going to move me. But trying and failing will because that means I am moving. Failing means I am at least in the game.
I need some ideas!! What are easy, fast things I can fail at? (That won’t hurt too bad I really don’t like pain!)
Day 16 – figure out a way you can try and fail. Excuse me while I figure out what to do.
