Today isn’t so much about what I learned but more about what I practiced.
My brain is very good at going downhill when I think I have done something wrong. And I am very good at putting myself down when that happens.
A little background. Last year I bought a VW Beetle from my mom. I love my little car but the lights stay on when you turn it off. And the car doesn’t beep at you when you leave. (Those Germans don’t think for you!) Because of that I have left the car lights on a few times and killed the battery.
Also, you need to know how we park our cars. (I promise there is a reason for telling you this.) We have my hubby’s police car in the garage with our newer SUV. The bug is parked behind the SUV. This works out well because we usually only drive the SUV on the weekends when we need space for all of us to ride together.
Last night I left the lights on in the bug. This morning when my hubby was going to work at the Temple Open House. He was taking the SUV and needed to move the bug. Since I left the lights on the battery was dead and he couldn’t move it. He got the battery charger on it and all was well. All was well after, he pushed the bug out of the way, got the SUV out of the garage and then pushed the bug back into the driveway. All while dressed in his suit.
At this point I am starting downhill feeling really bad about myself because I am so dumb. How hard is it really to remember to turn the lights off? Why can’t I just use my clothes pin? (I came up with a great idea to clip a clothes pin on my keys when I turn the lights on. That way I remember to turn the lights off when I take my keys out of the ignition.) I am sure that my hubby is so upset with me. He is going to be late and it is all my fault.
Practicing confidence has made a difference though! When I realized where my mind was going I yelled out stop (only in my brain it was still earlier and I really didn’t need to scare anyone.) I thanked my hubby for taking care of my car, again. Apologized for making him late. Then I stopped thinking about it.
There wasn’t anything I could do at that point to change what had happened. Letting my mind go downhill was just hurting me in this moment. And maybe my hubby because going downhill also involves me pulling away from the people I care about. I decided to start using the clothes pin again. And then I forgave myself for making a mistake.
Because that is all it was a simple mistake. (That I luckily usually make at home so I’m not stuck somewhere!)
Day 4, remember we all make mistakes. Don’t let your brain take you downhill when you make one.
I do things like that, too. And then I feel so bad about what my husband must think of me. He has to remind me that doesn’t think the way I sometimes assume he does. I have to remember that I have good intentions for him and he does for me, as well. You are brave for being so honest, and smart for stopping yourself from the downward spiral. By sharing your vulnerability, you help others see they’re not alone and give ideas of how to overcome negative thoughts. Thank you!
I know exactly what you mean! It is hard to not just assume we know what others are thinking. I am usually wrong when I do that though.