People are really really scary.
What if I say something embarrassing? What if I make a fool of myself again? What if I can’t solve their problem? What if I can’t make them happy? What if I am not good enough? What if….What if….What if?
What if just keeps going through my mind. I know it is because of the anxiety, with some perfectionism thrown in there for fun. Knowing this doesn’t make socializing any easier. It makes me think 2 or 3 times before I say anything. Because trust me when I don’t really really bad things come out of my mouth.
These what ifs have kept me from reaching out to people since we have moved. It has been almost exactly a year since we moved and I really don’t have any friends.
I get frustrated with myself often. But then I go and put my pajama pants on and all is good! Life, though, isn’t lived in front of the T.V.
The truth is people are really really fun too. People will share the most amazing stories with you. People you don’t even know will love and take care of you. People are all scared and uncomfortable at some point.
Not connecting with people makes for a lonely life. So it might be scary and I might say something really dumb. (Sorry honey it is usually about you!) But I am going to do it! Wish me luck.
I love pajama pants. Nothing wrong with that!