This is My Brave

As many of you know a couple of weeks ago I shared my story of anxiety and depression through the Boise This is My Brave show.  A friend asked me how I felt about the show and why I was glad I did it.  All I could answer her at the time was because it was awesome.  I personally hate getting answers like that so I wanted to improve on my answer.  Here is the answer I wish I had given her.

First I loved it because I don’t feel so alone anymore.  After sharing my story at the rehearsals I had a couple of the other presenters tell me that what I described was exactly how they acted or felt.  It took pressure off knowing that I was not the only one that felt this way.  When I was in the middle of the anxiety I thought I was the only one that had these thoughts and feelings.  Knowing now that I am not is so freeing!

Second I loved it because the anxiety and depression are no longer a secret.  I feel free!  So many people have told me that they had no idea that I felt this way; that I also had such a confident air about me.  I was very good at hiding what I felt because I didn’t want others to know I felt weak and judge me for it.  The most surprising experience was after I had read my story to my husband and he said that he didn’t know I was so afraid of him dying.  I was shocked because I thought I had told him everything about all of my scary thoughts.  I guess I kept that one hidden because I didn’t want him to be worried when he was out on calls.

Third I loved it because I really enjoy being in front of a crowd and connecting with them.  I felt that I did a really good job expressing my feelings and helping the audience to feel what I felt.  I know it is kinda funny that someone that experiences anxiety likes to be in front of a crowd but it is true.

Lastly I loved it because I was able to show that mental illness is not something to be ashamed of.  My 15 year old son was able to attend the show and he said that it was very eye opening for him.  He was able to see that people with mental illnesses are not crazy or to be avoided.  He learned about other people and himself that night and I consider that I huge win!

Sharing my story with This is My Brave is one of the experiences I am most proud of in my life.  And I almost didn’t do it.  Thank you to Erin, Kristen and Jessica for producing the show and asking me to audition.  That is another thing I have learned.  Don’t wait to be asked to do something.  If there is an experience that you want go after it!!

Here is the video clip of my story from the show if you haven’t seen it.  Even if you have seen it watch it again because I love it!!