Why Amazing and Terrifying!

This Christmas we went down to Southern Utah to visit my mom.  I love going down there because there is so much to do outside.  Our first day there we went up to Zion National park to hike and look around.  It had been raining for a couple of days so we were hoping to see some really neat water falls.  We didn’t get to see any big waterfalls but the weeping rock was very sad that day and weeping really well.

After that hike we decided to go try out another hike before it got too late.  This hike is called the Hidden Canyon hike.  We had started it a few years ago but the boys were little and there was one point that I didn’t dare hike with them.

I always hike behind everyone because I like to keep my eye on how everyone is doing and I don’t really like other people behind me when we are hiking a steep trail.  The beginning of the trail was partly paved with lots of switchbacks as we climbed up the mountain.  Since I was behind everyone I was the last person to see the next part of the hike.  The mountain rose up on the left side and there were chains attached to this side of the mountain to hold as you crossed.  The path was plenty wide enough for all of the boys to cross.  I am not even sure they noticed the change in the path.  The right side of the path went straight down.  I am not sure how far down it went because I never looked that way.  But I figured if they attached chains to the side of the mountain there was a reason.  The trail was now on rock with some sand on top of the rock and the sand was damp because of the rain.

As soon as I saw it I said there is no way, I will wait here for you guys.  I was terrified and didn’t even want to think about going forward.  I knew that this was not the only portion that has chains and I didn’t want to get stuck somewhere and not be able to make it back.  My mind began to race with all kinds of what if scenarios.  What if I slip and slide off the cliff, what if one of the boys goes sliding, what will I do if I freeze later, I can’t let the boys see me freak out again.  

Then I started thinking: Do I really want my boys to see me stop? Do I really want to give up without even trying? Do I want to wait here while my family goes and has some neat experience without me?  Do I really want this fear and anxiety to hold me back from doing something?

At that point two things happened at the same time.  I decided that I wanted to keep going and J made this really weird noise.  I started on the path and told  J to keep making that noise.  The strange noise kept my mind distracted enough that I could make it across this part.  Before we made it to the Hidden Canyon we passed over 3 other places where we had to use chains.  

I always keep J close to me when we hike.  As we approached one of the next chain sections he said, “Yes more chains, I love the chains because it means danger and danger means it will be exciting.”  I laughed because that is not how I thought of the chains.  Yes they meant danger to me but danger isn’t exciting.  As I thought about it I decided that I want to have that attitude.  

Instead of being afraid as soon as something new or different or hard comes up I decided that I am going to look at it as something exciting.  So this year I am changing my mindset.  Instead of being afraid when something “dangerous” happens I am going to see it as exciting! I am going to seek out opportunities to do things that scare me.  Because danger is exciting (and yes I am very nervous for J to start driving!)

That is why I named this website amazing and terrifying.  That hike terrified me but to finish it and make it back to the regular trail was amazing!  It felt as if I could conquer the world.  I want more of that feeling and I want more people to experience that feeling.  This site is all about conquering the world!